Why is the Cure More Painful Than the Disease?

Before I dive into the meat of the column, I have a request from Homer K. Frink, the Baseball Curmudgeon who lives inside my head.  Mr. Frink has asked me to apologize on his behalf for his recent column suggesting that the Chicago White Sox had an edge in their playoffs because Pope Leo XIV is from Chicago and is a fan of the Sox.

As we all know, the Sox were eliminated from the playoffs, so there goes that theory.

Seriously, I want to send my best wishes to His Holiness following his recent cancer surgery. A speedy recovery, please!

In an episode of the TV series Star Trek, there is a moment when Captain Kirk asks Dr. McCoy, “Why is the cure sometimes more painful than the disease?” To which the good doctor replied, “That’s a sore subject for us medical men, Jim.”

It may indeed be a sore subject, but it’s true.

I’m living proof.

Last year at this time, you may recall, I was wrapping up a three-week stay in a palatial room at WellStar Kennestone Hospital in Atlanta, being treated for pneumonia and advanced congestive heart failure.

I will admit that having those two conditions was in no way, shape or form comfortable, but having IVs in my arm, compression socks on my feet, and taking medicine that caused rapid fluid removal was worse. At least I knew what was going on every time I coughed, and the occasional measurements of the heart activity gave me reassurance that it was getting better.

With all the medical equipment on me, in me and around me, I was in a constant state of confusion.

I’m an educated man, but remember, the “doctor” in front of my name is in education, not medicine. The nurses and physician assistants, bless their wonderful hearts, did their best to explain what the machines were doing, why they were doing what they were doing, and for how long they would be doing it. All I came away with from that is a firm understanding of why patients love the day they get to go home.

In my case, going home wasn’t the end of the issue, it was just the beginning – as I noted in a previous column, I now take 16 different medications every day (two have been added since that column), three times a day, and nobody can give me any idea of when that number of pills is going to be reduced.

It’s about medicines that I wish to expound now.

Every evening while I was hospitalized, I would turn on the television for an hour or so just to break the monotony. Maybe I was just not paying too much attention, but it seemed that every commercial break had at least one ad for some medication or another.

The vast majority of those would never apply to me (at least I fervently hope that they won’t), but – and here’s the important part – listening to the part about “potential side effects” scares the heck out of me.

For some medications they’re advertising, the potential side effect listing is more than half of the commercial.

And many of those listings conclude with the word “death.”

Yes, if you take their medicine and it doesn’t agree with you for some reason, you could end up the same way you would if you didn’t take the medicine. And I can all but guarantee you would not enjoy the different experience.

If a medication has so many side effects, why is it being released for doctors to prescribe it?

When I’m talking with one of my cardiologists (I have eight) or even with my great General Practitioner, I don’t get the list of side effects. So far, with the 16 medications I take, none of the potential side effects have arisen.

I looked up lists of side effects of medications and the MedStar Visiting Nurse Association had the most comprehensive list.  It’s far too long to repeat here (that should give you a clue) but some of them … wow.

Pain relief medicine can cause confusion, constipation, dizziness, drowsiness, dry mouth, queasiness, rash, and vomiting.

Medicine for queasiness can cause fatigue or headaches.

Blood pressure medicines can cause coughing, headaches, lightheadedness, upset stomach, and swelling, among other things.

I’m going to stop looking at that list. It scares me.

Especially the last effect.

Death.