Ghosted at Work

You’ve been ghosted. For the old geezers out there, ghosted means abruptly cutting off contact with someone without giving that person any warning or explanation for doing so. In personal relationships, it means that they just aren’t into you. A bitter pill to swallow, but it happens. However, today, I write about employment matters, specifically the Gen Z proclivity for ghosting during the hiring process. While not absolutely unique to Gen Z, they live by ghosting. Ninety-three percent of Gen Z job applicants say that they would not show up for the first day of work if:

1. A better offer comes along 

2. A closer commute becomes available, or 

3. The puppy wanted to play in the park. They don’t need a reason, you see; they just want to control their life.

Employers are fuming over first-day no-shows. Actress Jodie Foster recently said she’s done with Gen Z because they are annoying. Whoopi Goldberg said Gen Z can’t afford a house because they only want to work four hours a day. An MIT recruiter said that a good four-year college degree isn’t enough incentive these days. But it weren’t always so.

My first job was a two-week stint at a mom-and-pop superette, part of some high school work program. The ONLY thing I remember about that job is that I had to apply for my social security card. I was fourteen years old and had my first government-issued identification, which, inexplicably, I still have. I’ve lost virtually everything ever entrusted to me since, but I have a 50-year-old social security card? Why?

From there, I got a stockboy job at a place called Lee Wards, much like Michael’s today. I was the stockboy after school and on weekends. It was a good job within walking distance of school, which was handy since I couldn’t drive yet. If there were child labor laws, they didn’t apply to me. When the manager found out I could count, he used me as a fill-in cashier. Kids, a cashier had to make change back then, but that’s for another day. I’ve been working ever since.

My favorite ghosting story is a certain someone I know who got a job at Backyard Burgers. She went in for her first day and was being taught how to run the cash register when the supervisor told her to clean the bathroom. She opened the bathroom door and decided cleaning up after the filthy public was not her thing. She walked out, never to return. She now does human resources for a multi-national conglomerate.

So how does an employer find employees today? It starts with pay, lots of pay. Then they need to offer benefits, like paid time off. I’d suggest one hour’s PTO for every hour worked; that might suit them. Maybe. Medical insurance is good. Never, ever make them work on a weekend. Extra PTO for puppy birthing, concerts, and mass demonstrations. A liberal paid family/friend/acquaintance leave policy. Maybe a travel stipend for their commute. A work-at-home policy of at least three days a week, which inexplicably they expect for restaurant employees, car manufacturers, and pinwheel makers. Be creative. 

I get it, sorta. Gen Z sees the past 40+ hours a week work mindset as stifling. They watched their parents slog through the week so they could enjoy the weekend. Prosperity dictates that they don’t want to live like that; they want better. That delectation world view is clashing with traditional entrenched employment forces. Employers will either adapt or die. But if you pay enough, I promise you will find someone to clean the public restroom, even on the weekend.

Complaining about the whole generation we raised is pointless. Adapt or die.

Kelly Burke, attorney, former district attorney, and magistrate judge, writes about the law, rock’n’roll, and politics or anything that strikes him. Contact Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com to comment on this article or suggest articles that you’d like to see, and visit his website at www.kellyrburke.com

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