The kids are alright

Kids. You gotta love ‘em because what else are you going to do? I’m not talking about my kids, but the kids who work in today’s retail, specifically auto parts stores. Auto parts these days, except NAPA and some local stores, are sold in national mini-box stores, which is just a descriptor, not an insult. The stores are virtually identical, and prices don’t vary much. And they hire a lot of young people. Thus begins my story.

I sauntered into the closest parts store and the place wasn’t busy. The young clerk said, “Can I help you find something?” “Point me to your gasket material,” I said. “What gasket are you looking for, I bet we’ve got it in stock.” I admired his chutzpah. “I seriously doubt that. Where’s the gasket material?” 

“Sir, just tell me the year, make, and model of your car, and let me see.”

“Fine, we will do it your way. It’s a 1970 MGB,” said I. “Huh?” said he.

“The make is MG, the model is a B. I’m looking for the chamber lid gasket on the HS4 carburetors for the float chamber. Of course, since it’s an HS4 it’s the same gasket from 1962 to 1971 and the front and rear chambers are identical. The HIF4 and Zenith Stromberg were on the later engines. So, on what aisle would I find that gasket?”

The kid furiously banged on the keyboard while I continued my mastery over this poor kid, who said, “What was that again?” “The car, the carburetors, or the float chamber?” said I. “The car. I wasn’t even born in 1970,” the flummoxed youngster replied.

“MG stands, sorta, for Morris Garage but not really. There were all sorts of MGs, but the MGB was by far the biggest-selling model. Over half a million were made and most came to the U.S. It’s a great little sports coupe, usually a convertible but there are some called MGB-GT, a hard top coupe. Same engine, same float bowl, and same chamber lid gasket in the B and B-GT. But I doubt you have the gasket in stock, so some universal gasket material will do just fine.”

The nice young man, who has my admiration for working retail, got me the gasket material, and I paid with cash. He recognized cash amazingly. Tomorrow I may drop by and explain the Pythagorean theorem. He will undoubtedly encounter that 10 times before he sells a chamber lid gasket for another MGB.

Also, the column title pays homage to The Who, the classic English rock band, and their 1979 film and soundtrack, “The Kids Are Alright.”

Kelly Burke, attorney, former district attorney, and magistrate judge, writes about the law, rock’n’roll, and politics or anything that strikes him. Contact Kelly at dakellyburke@gmail.com to comment on this article or suggest articles you’d like to see, and visit his website at www.kellyrburke.com.