Paradise

Paradise by the Dashboard Lights is one of the funniest songs about teenage sexual angst ever. Meat Loaf hit a home run with this song by Jim Steinman, with whom Mr. Loaf collaborated many times over the years. The 8-minute-28 seconds-long song (album cut) had three clear divisions, the opening stanza about teenage love in the front seat of a car (hence the song title), a middle stanza asking for the benefits without a commitment (“let me sleep on it”), and the final stanza about praying for the end of time.

I’ll address each stanza, but a few notables: the song just cracked the U.S. Top Forty at #39. Todd Rundgren played guitar and did backup vocals. Edgar Winter played saxophone. Ellen Foley did the album duet with Meat, but the video was performed by Karla DeVito. The song is considered one of the top rock duets ever produced.

The opening has all the earmarks of a young man getting all he wants. He’s making out with a girl he adores, but love isn’t in the equation. It flips to a hysterical account by Yankees broadcaster Phil Rizutto announcing a play-by-play of the young man rounding the bases. He’s headed for home, “I think he’s going to make it!” when the stop sign gets thrown up. “Stop right there! I gotta know right now! Before we go any further! Do you love me? Will you love me forever? Do you need me? Will you never leave me? Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life? Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?” Uh-oh. Way more than he was looking for at that point.

I love baseball analogies and this song was on my mind in 1982 when Professor Jim Marshall gave my bankruptcy law class a mid-term. For reasons only my redhead brain can explain, I answered the question like it was a baseball game. I had opposing teams, balls and strikes, outs, innings, and a winner. I kept myself entertained at least. When he came back later with the grades, he gave everyone a tongue-lashing. The average recognition of issues was three! Some had zero. A few had five. But one had 18! He spent considerable time talking about the brilliant analysis, even saying that it had issues he hadn’t thought of. He passed out the tests and yours truly had the high score. I tried to hide my score, but my friends sniffed it out. A rare (for me) law school “A” followed.

The next stanza involves the young stud begging, pleading, and sniveling as he tries to slide across the plate without a lifetime commitment. 

“Let me sleep on it. Baby, baby, let me sleep on it.

Let me sleep on it, and I’ll give you an answer in the morning.” 

But the young woman stands her ground.

So what happened? 

“I couldn’t take it any longer, Lord, I was crazed. And when the feeling came upon me like a tidal wave.

I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave, that I would love you to the end of time. I swore that I would love you to the end of time!” 

He succumbed to the anguish of insatiable young love. But such a commitment requires a lot more thought, doesn’t it? 

“So now I’m praying for the end of time. To hurry up and arrive, cause if I gotta spend another minute with you, I don’t think that I can really survive. I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow, but God only knows what I can do right now.”

If you’ve read my previous columns about me being a dweeb, you already know I personally never came close to that definition of paradise in high school or college (Georgia Tech’s male-female ratio was 1,000 males to every female back then). It’s much better now at 6/4. So I never had that teenage angst like Mr. Loaf described, but I can understand that faster maturing students struggled with young love. Yet I did love this song then, and now.

Kelly Burke was born in Knoxville, Tennessee, where he spent his younger years, followed by his high school years in Atlanta, where he graduated from Georgia Tech, followed by Mercer Law School. He has been in the private practice of law, a magistrate judge, and an elected district attorney. He writes about the law, politics, music, and Ireland. He and his wife enjoy gardening, playing with their Lagotto Ramagnolo named George Harrison, and spending time with their grandchildren.